I haven’t got a single thing to say, except to thank you for the friends I had around. Pulling me away from danger that had head towards me once more. Thank you for letting me experiencing and experimenting with things around me. Im sorry if I’d hurt you one way or another. I wish I could be in your arms again, feeling all safe and secure!

Father, Mish said I need you more than anything else or anyone. If I ever drop everything and follow you, will you be the lamp to my feet and the light of my path? Will you throw me to a pack of wolves and let me defend myself? Will you be there for me? Mish said I should run at the sight of such dangers and never look back at it… thinking if i’ve miss something.

Seriously, why do I doubt so much when I know the truth myself? What am I waiting for? I dun understand myself now.

Father, pls do continue to watch over me. I need your protection. Please.

Love you.

Thank you for watching over me at work. Father, I don’t want to beg someone else again like this at work anymore, neither do I want to get used at work. Helping a friend is very different to getting used at work, or even get played with. I don’t like it. If there is a lesson for me to learn, enlighten me, pls! I want to know.

Thank you for watching over me at when clubbing, Father. I really appreciate that fact that nobody try to get me drunk and willing to leave me alone on my own. I’m thankful that none of my friends are hurt physically due to their drunkard-ness.

Thank you for watching over my family, Father. I’m thankful to have a mortal father that would nag at my lifestyle. But I had indeed cut down alot on my clubbing and drinking. I don’t drink till i’m drunk and I don’t get high enough to have fun. But I enjoy dancing and watching people dancing and see those hot actions in front of me. Well, beside the fact that alot of people puke. And I’m trying to change. Just once in a while, my friends need me to be there for them becoz’ they are sad and something bothers them. They just want someone to be there. And i’m willing to be there.

Father, i’m not sure if it’s a good thing if I do see my friends more important than my family. If, my family is my friend, then it will be great. But it isn’t in my case. Somehow, I feel like I can’t tell them things even I want to. I can’t tell them who are the ppl I fancy and who are not, why i’m depress, dejected and upset or why i’m happy, glad, things that I enjoy. I just need someone to listen, maybe, understands me a little. In fact, I can tell nobody about how I feel or what’s bothering me or even share my joy with. Coz’ I feel that this person doesn’t exist in my life at the moment beside you.

Sigh.

Love you, Lord.

I attended the vigil service of late Mrs. Sng. And she looks so different. I can’t recognise her as I starred into her coffin. She is an example of her faith to me. I pray someday, I am like that too – to say that i’m not afraid to die and am really glad to want to meet Your face.

There has been so much trouble at work lately. Finally, there is a mini-break and I want to end it on a good note but I can’t find the will and the strength to want to do it. With the recession and all, every boss is troubled but workers are even more stress out. I pray you could watch over me and the love ones around me.

Father, grant me Your strength to live and a pillar of encouragement to my friends. I just found out that one of my friend are suffering from depression and I can’t seem to help much. The worse part, I don’t know how to. How to? Teach me.

I’m so lost and so tired and getting a little sick.

I forgot how I got into this mess myself.

I forgot how much I used to love you.

I forgot how much I relied on you.

I forgot that warm and encouragement you used to give me.

I forgot your words and warnings. And tell me how much I must heed it.

Change my heart, Lord. I want to remember these memories again.

I was sooo stressed out over the weekend. With Rick’s shoot and the other two directors’ shoot going on, it was insane. I could not believe how much i need a drink and maybe a smoke if i have tried it before. There were so many troubles given and I got to run around to solve them. It was crazy. I wish i could go back to being a student. Doing films too. But less stress.

Father, I realised how much I misses her. Especially over the weekend and after work. I wish I could just see her even for that brief moments, even if we din talk. I dunno. Maybe that’s why she doesn’t hang out with me anymore coz’ I’m not fun to hang out anymore. Haiz. Father, please occupy my mind with something else. Coz’ i’m missing her terribly. If you occupy me with something else, then maybe I won’t miss her so much.

I’m dying to go Perth again. Too bad Mish is like a saint now. But hopefully Alex can accompany me out to party when I’m there. I was told to go there for her Birthday. Damn. I’m sooooo broke now. How to go for her birthday. Need my parents to sponsor me le! Haiz.

Father, strengthen me with Your strength and carry me through my days.

Love You. Talk to You soon

Desperately need your shoulder to cry. I feel so lost. I dunno what to do. Please give me some directions. I need to know what’s the next step.

My life have been a little bit stable. Work. Home. Work. Home. Totally meet no new friends or old, for this matter.

The world had gone to family camp which I had planned to go. But was tied down by work. I miss that kinda of lifestyle for a week. Just hang out with people who loves you and meeting new faces. Especially new children. Love them.

The person I love the most is not talking to me anymore. Well, it feel more like the person is avoiding me at all cost. I dunno what’s wrong. Did you do this? There’s must be something going on which i wasn’t make known of. I just wish nothing more than just communicating. I miss it. Or maybe person is damn bloody busy with work, like me.

I’m sorry I lied. I just didn’t want to hurt the person but i realised it hurt more when they found out I lied. I’m sorry!!

I feel I need to connect with you again. Hence, I’m writing all this down. Like a prayer blog. I hope more entries to come.